Seven Ways and Reasons to Start Things You Won’t Finish

Rules are like cockleburs.  They attach themselves to you without you noticing, until one day you look down and see them, a whole mess of should’s and have-to’s clinging to the edges of your life.  One of the rules you may have picked up along the way is the notion that you have to stick with anything you start, or that anything you begin must be finished.

Allow me, if you will, to help you remove that one right away.

The reason we need to pluck that little sucker off and toss it aside is because thinking you have to continue or complete anything you begin will keep you from beginning just about everything.  And that’s no good.

Instead, allow yourself to start things you won’t finish.  Here are just a few ways to do that and why you should.

1. Allow Yourself to Try

“Gee,” you’ll think to yourself, “I’d love to try that but then I’ll have to commit to it and I’m just not ready to do that.”

Or, you’ll say, “Oh, I might hate it or stink at it and then I’ll be stuck with it.”

Wrong. You don’t have to commit to it, you don’t have to stick with it, and you don’t have to to finish it.  The only thing you “should” do is try it and for no other reason than the fact that you’re curious, interested, intrigued.

You’ll never know anything about it unless you try.  And sometimes, all you really want to do is try.  You just want to know what a guitar feels like in your hands.  You’re curious about how they made that dish you enjoyed in a roadside cafe while traveling one summer.  That dance step looked like fun.  Well, what are you waiting for?

Try something new.  It just might feel good.

2.  Allow Yourself to Sample

Can’t decide what to try next?  Why not select several things and try them all?

Have you ever had the sampler platter at a restaurant?  If you have, you probably weren’t wild about everything on the plate, but I bet there was at least one thing you’d like to try again.

That’s what happens when you experiment.  You discover what you like and what you don’t, what you want more of in your life and what you’d like to see far less of.  You’ll find strengths and talents and affinities you never knew you possessed, and you just might find yourself moving in a whole new direction you hadn’t planned.

Sample things and discover something new about yourself and the world in which you live.

3.  Allow Yourself to Have Options

My creative space has expanded from being just a desk and a Mac.  Now, I have a shelf of books and CDs to my left, a box of index cards and a drawing tablet to my right, and today, I added my acoustic guitar which is on a stand right beside my chair.  I’ve been playing it whenever I get stuck.  What fun!  If I made myself write and only write without the musical breaks, my energy woud wane.  Not so with my fifty-dollar Oscar Schmidt by my side.

Give yourself options.  These can become fun and novel things you do to break the monotony and reenergize yourself.

4.  Allow Yourself to Collect Experiences

Also, when you allow yourself to try a host of things, you expand your universe.  You begin to make comparisons and contrasts and build connections.  What you experience doing one thing gives you insight into another.

Before I developed a habit of writing, I developed a habit of physical exercise, primarily running.  There are many lessons I learned on the jogging trail that I apply to everything else I do, one of which is how doing one small thing like simply putting on your running shoes can get you past the initial resistance.

Collect experiences and learn from them, then apply what you’ve learned to everything you do.

5.  Allow Yourself to Go Through Phases

Phases get a bad rap, I think.  “Oh, it’s just a phase.” people like to say.  Maybe so, but phases can be the gateway to something bigger.

I’ve only been drawing for a little while and I don’t do it everyday as I did in the beginning (That could change.), but almost immediately I realized that I could supplement my writing with my own drawings.  Even though they’re crude, they allow me to illustrate some things I can’t express in words.  I also believe that by sharing my drawings despite their amateurish nature, I give others permission to try it too.

And I really don’t think I would have created this website if I hadn’t gone through my drawing phase.  Drawing enabled me to see what this site could be and what it could become.

Allow yourself to go through phases.  Who knows what they’ll lead to?

6.  Allow Yourself to Go Through Cycles

Phases have a way of turning into cycles.

In their book, Changing for Good, psychology professors James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo Diclemente note that, almost invariably, people who’ve made lasting changes in their lives first went through several trial attempts.

This isn’t my first blog.  I must have started and ended a dozen or more.  But with each attempt, I learned something.  And for some reason, I kept coming back.  What would be my chances of succeeding this time if not for my other attempts?  My guess would be slim and none.

And I already know that at some point I’m going to cycle back and dive deeper into drawing.

So, if you stop something you start, it doesn’t mean you’re stopping forever.  It may just mean you’re stopping for now.  You’ll still have whatever experience you gained this time around to draw upon when you return.

Go through cycles.  You’ll be wiser and stronger each time you circle back around.

7.  Allow Yourself to See the World Through Someone Else’s Eyes

Maybe you have no interest in a certain thing, but someone you know is just crazy about it.  It’s time to get curious.  What is it that’s got them so worked up?

I’m not much of a soccer fan, but one day Carol and our daughter went to a professional indoor soccer game and I thought they’d never stop talking about it.  Carol, who’s no sports nut, was even more excited than our daughter.  So, I got curious and the next time they went, I went along for the ride.

It was exciting.  I saw what they saw.  Fast paced, high scoring, and far more intimate than watching, from the bleachers, unfamiliar athletes playing a game I don’t understand on a distant field.

If I had said, “No thanks.  I don’t like soccer.”  I would have missed the excitement and a great time with my family.  And while I’m still not a fanatic, I learned things from the indoor game that helped me understand and enjoy the outdoor version a great deal more.

Let others show you why they’re so excited about their passions.  You’ll gain a greater understanding and a deeper appreciation of people and the things they love.  And you just might come to love those things yourself.

Allow Me to Sum it Up

So, I hope I’ve helped you remove that old rule.  You don’t have to finish everything you start.  You can try new things, sample new things, give yourself options, collect experiences, go through phases and cycles, and see the world through other’s eyes without making a lifelong commitment.  The only thing you’ll be committing yourself to is constant growth as a mildly creative human being.

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Tagged as: overcoming perfectionism, Productivity, stop procrastinating