Comments on: How to Be Authentic with People Who Love You but Don’t Understand You – Part 3

By: Kathleen Stamer

Kathleen Stamer — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:48:29 +0000

Ken, I checked out the info on “Story Structure – Demystified”, and I think it’s a good choice for your first read about writing fiction. See where it leads you. Don’t rule out anything. Are you by any chance signed up for NaNo?

By: Ken

Ken — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:06:03 +0000

Thanks, Kathleen.

One of the things I’ve been dreaming about lately is writing fiction, but crafting a story has been a mystery to me. I’m now reading Larry Brook’s Story Structure – Demystified and starting to understand. You might want to check out his blog, http://www.storyfix.com . Who knows what the future holds?

By: Kathleen Stamer

Kathleen Stamer — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 03:55:26 +0000

Ken, I read your article and saw so much of myself in your experience of not writing but wanting to be called a writer. About ten years ago my brother took me aside at a Christmas gathering and said “Kathy, you are the writer in this family. Make us proud.” That was back when I was writing frequently because I felt I had something to say. I was trying my darndest to get a children’s manuscript(s) published, and I was getting great feedback from some editors. Then what happened? Life, distractions, etc., and I lost my focus. People didn’t take me aside any more and say that I was the writer in the family. I became an unknown identity. Ken, your insight is incredible and thanks for sharing it!

By: Ken

Ken — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:54:27 +0000

Putting a problem on hold can be a very fine strategy if it’s truly beyond your control. Thus, the serenity prayer.

By: Marietta

Marietta — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:34:44 +0000

Thanks Ken, can you imagine that I am 43 and still struggling with family issues and indeed quite some feeling of unacceptance from my parents side? I was walking around with that question about authenticity myself but since I am a Buddhist and believe that non genuine feelings or expressions are not good for oneself neitehr for surrounding I just decided to put my complicated relationship with my parents on a hold and do a lot of meditationand calming down myself. that really helps too! But it is great to notice there are more people walking around with very similar problems.
Thanks and greetings,
Marietta

By: Ken Robert

Ken Robert — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 13:38:16 +0000

That is good news. And look how much he support he has from you. Awesome.

By: Della Pitre

Della Pitre — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:31:22 +0000

Good news, Ken…sent the link to my husband…he read your articles and was blown away! I told him about your other blog, KenandPaper…he loved that idea too…said it was catchy! I’m encouraging him to join your newsletter…to allow him to read more! It’s beginning to spread, Ken! You’re like a wildfire…except the good kind! Thanks again for helping me open his eyes!

By: The Living Poet

The Living Poet — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:11:49 +0000

The “Don’t ask people to give you what you can’t give yourself” thing is an important one. For ages I’ve been aware that I was harboring a desperate need for external validation, something I considered a weakness that needed to be eradicated. For years I thought the way to eradicate it was to disconnect from my need to feel validated. A few months ago I was talking to a friend about this and she pointed out that I was very harsh with myself, never giving myself any credit for the things I accomplished. She pointed out that if I felt starved for validation it was because I wasn’t giving myself any. The message has stuck with me, but it didn’t occur to me to connect it to my interactions with other people. Good post!

By: Mo

Mo — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:13:36 +0000

Ken,

I know this is not really related to this article but part of your response to Tim just smacked me right where it counts on another topic – switching buses! Why the hell do I have to make my transition from the wrong bus to the right bus in one wild swing of the bat? I DON’T!!

Anyway thanks to you I am going to revise my plans/goals and use your experiment as the basis of my experiment!! It is way less scary and way more achievable – I know I can do this!

Thanks – AGAIN!!
Mo

By: Ken Robert

Ken Robert — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:03:17 +0000

Well, as long as you’re sorting through your list of things you have to do, why not add one more? Ask yourself what you’ll have to do to start clarifying your vision.

Are you aware that this whole site came about because one day I committed myself to writing one sentence each and every day on a blog called KenandPaper.com?

I didn’t have a clear vision. I just had a daily commitment to do one small thing to start gaining one. It was an experiment. I wanted to see what would happen if I did that every day for a year. It didn’t take a year. This is what happened.

The more you wait, the more you wait.