I have already freed myself of a lot BIG things that made me super serious over the past few years. Boy was I a tightly wound ball of confusion doused in vinegar – but not as much today!! Thank God! My lovely wife has picked up on the change in me and has commented on it several times over the past couple of years – it was pretty obvious! We love each other more than ever and enjoy being together as much as possible. We have been married for 22 years this Saturday and like yourself we have had some very hard times and almost did not make it a few times. We’ve been doing the 1 date a week minimum for over 10 years now and I believe it was a key ingredient in keeping us together. I recommend every couple have a date night at least once a week. You don’t have to go out and spend a ton of money to do it either. We had none to spare for several years so we just went out and took walks together, window shopped, dreamed together, went for drives, etc. Whatever we wanted to do really! The main thing is we were together. Another thing we do at least once a year is go away for a weekend without the kids. Once again – no need to go far or spend a ton of money. We usually just go camping or go to a hotel downtown and enjoy the weekend together free from everyday stuff. We sleep in if we want, go shopping, swim in the pool, do tourist stuff, whatever! This was another very important key to keep our relationship alive and I highly recommend it to all couples.

Ok enough fun now; back to the serious stuff LOL (just kidding haha) Actually I am half serious here. Unfortunately I have a tendency to make everything I do serious and of course it then becomes no fun and all of a sudden the brakes go on and nothing gets done. This is happening right now with my new business venture. It is happening with my guitar lessons. It is happening with several other things I want to get done. Time to re-evaluate and find a way to get the fun back in there and free myself of the frustration and overwhelm I am feeling right now. Time to go back and take some baby steps.

Thanks again for the post Ken – right on the money as usual. Keep being yourself!
Mo

(sorry if my english is not perfect, it’s not my native language)

I’m in the process of trying to start my own business and the point of my business is to keep it fun (making costumes/puppets/jewelry and themed party planning, to be exact)…I really don’t want to be stuck in an office job for the rest of my years (about to turn 43…eek!!)…so keeping it fun is my goal! I’m just having a hard time moving forward when the rest of life plus having a full time j-o-b is getting in my way. But since reading your posts, I’ve been wondering if I’m using life/j-o-b as an excuse to keep me stuck! I really don’t want to be at my j-o-b anymore because I don’t feel like I’m giving it my all anymore because my mind is on my own thing…so maybe, it’s time to start pushing harder for what I want!

As usual, Ken, thanks for always challenging us to see things a little differently! I appreciate it!

By the way, I’m going to mention your idea to my husband about a date night every week, I think THAT would be fun!

Then I went to my sister’s wedding across the country. My brother, who was 12 years younger than me, suggested we go to Mt. Rainier one day. When we got up there (this was August) there were still patches of snow and people were using sleds and pieces of cardboard to slide. We grabbed some cardboard and were suddenly joining them. I remember laughing hysterically all the way down and when I got to the bottom I started crying because I realized I couldn’t remember when I’d last laughed.

My life changed. There have sure been tough times since (that was 35 years ago) but I have never been that serious again. As I get older I think I’ve gotten wiser and certainly more playful.

For a number of years I attended the Humor and Creativity Conference in Saratoga Springs, sponsored by the Humor Project. That was a great resource.

I love these posts, Ken. Have sent this to my daughter – hope she can hear you.

It’s very clear that you have a beautiful relationship with your wife, and I wish you all the best!