We tell ourselves we’re looking for our purpose. Perhaps it’s true.
But it’s just as likely we already know our purpose and won’t accept it. We think it’s not sexy enough or important enough. We may not think it’s very profitable. We might find it a bit too strange or even too pedestrian.
But every day, we wake up, look in the mirror, and it’s there staring back at us. We pretend not to see it. We head out the door and look for a better purpose elsewhere. We search for a new job, we scan the shelves for a new book, we trace our fingertip along a map and dream of distant places.
But when we get home, the thing’s still there, sitting in a corner waiting for us to notice. And whether or not we ever do, it will stay there until we disappear.
All my life, I’ve been a paradox. In public, with people I know, I’m a chatterbox. In high school, I was the class clown and the drama guy. At work, I’m pretty much the same thing. But in private, I’m quiet and that’s always scared me a little.
It seems dangerous to be quiet in a noisy world. The spoils, I’ve been told, go to the alpha males. They get the girls, the power positions, the sports cars.
But I’ve always known my purpose. I’ve always known what makes me tick. I just chose to ignore it, and when I couldn’t ignore it, I tried to run away from it. Maybe you’ve been running too.
For a long time, I dreamed of making a big splash, but I may have to settle for creating a series of quiet ripples, because that’s where I find my peace.
I read poems. I look at things. I listen to music. I write. I draw. I ponder. I gently fumble my way across the frets and strings of my guitar.
My purpose, it seems, is to take notice and share what I’ve seen and heard. I’m a poet. All I really have to do is be one in everything I do.
And all you have to do is be whatever it is you are in everything you do too. Maybe you’re a healer. Maybe you’re an artist. Maybe you’re an organizer, a leader, or a numbers cruncher. Whatever it is you are, don’t ignore it; just be it.
We’ve been lead to believe that it’s all about competition, that the world has to be divided into winners and losers. But it’s really about contribution. That’s how we’ve really survived as a species, which is why we all have a stake in the well being of others.
You can do your piece by playing the part you’ve been given, by being the person you already are, and doing so with all the brilliance you can muster.
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for this. As I sit at my desk at work and ponder what else I could be doing, I have found a bit of peace in your post. This is exactly what I needed to hear.
Thank you!
That’s why I wrote it. I needed to hear it too.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and appreciate that it’s crossed your mind as well.
I’m middle-aged and my self-employment enterprise has recently begun to go under. I’m looking income and I’m afraid. What I was thinking this morning was: “purpose” is not the same thing as project or career or job; and my “purpose” may not put money in my pocket or food on the table.
When rent is past due and the cupboard is bare, it’s difficult to keep things straight in my head… I don’t actually want a job (hence the struggle to remain self employed). What I want is a) to find my purpose and b) for my purpose to coincidentally connect to or jump start a way to make a living.
Any thoughts?
Thoughts? I have a few, but I don’t know what they’re worth.
I think the biggest mistake you can make is to wait for a sure thing.
You do what you have to do to pay the bills and do what you have to do to live out your purpose. If the two come together, that’s great. If they don’t, you manage. You really have no other choice.
Oh, how I do love this! I have been wrestling with the same quagmire, particularly the point about being around those who do not value/respect/trust the silence- the very environment I tend to thrive in… yet another gentle judge that how/who we are is really alright and it is time to get on with it!
And you can get on with it in peace and quiet. Shhhhh.
I feel ya, dude. I fought my purpose tooth and nail when I was in college. Every sign, every aptitude test, every fiber of my being screamed “You’re a teacher!” But there was no way I was going to be a teacher. My parents were teachers, for goodness sake.
But here I am, teaching for a living, and I can’t imagine doing anything else. Thanks for the post.
Keep on teaching, Coach J.
Brilliant insight, much appreciated! It really does come down to trusting ‘what makes you tick’ and finding a way to make a living from it, as you say.
Joanna
http://workincolour.com.au
Oh, yeah. Resistance to purpose – we all spend so much time there.
I sure have. And about three-four weeks ago I started surrendering. Rewrote my website. Hangin’ out in the paradoxical state of resistance/surrender. Feeling the total weirdness of I can’t go there and holy wow, this is so cool, I love where I’m going.
Yep!
Don’t you just love paradoxes like that?
Being the person you really are- nice. This kind of sings to me now.
That’s a good tune to have inside your head.