3 Things I’ve Learned About Friends, Fans, and Facebook

by Ken on January 29, 2010

I've learned a few things about friends, fans, and Facebook.The line between fans and friends is sometimes blurry, especially if you’re a blogger or have any type of online presence. And it’s really blurry if you use Facebook.

What constitutes a friend? What makes someone a fan?

Are they ever one and the same, and what do you do when they’re not?

After grappling with this, I’ve decided to share:

3 Things I’ve Learned about Friends, Fans, and Facebook

1. Not All of Your Friends Are Fans of Your Work

To the readers of this blog I’m the mildly creative guy behind a Mildly Creative blog. I’m the guy who draws odd pictures; publishes quirky, little blog posts; and occasionally writes a poem or two.

But to people who know me personally, I’m just Ken. Most of my friends and family could care less about my pictures, posts, and poems. And, to be honest, I could care less if they did. I don’t need them to be fans. It’s their love and friendship I cherish.

I don’t often whip out my drawings, recite my poems, or read excerpts from my posts while drinking beer and eating chicken wings with my buddies.

I seldom even mention the blog at family get-togethers. They all know about it; they just don’t ask about it much.

I don’t ask them much about their work either. We mainly ask about one another’s kids, tell bad jokes, share movie recommendations, and argue over who we think will win the next election or Super Bowl. I like things this way.

I think about this every time I publish my posts to my personal Facebook account. I don’t want my friends to sell me cars on Facebook. Maybe they’d prefer it if I didn’t peddle my work to them either. They’re more interested in seeing pictures of my kids and ribbing me about the steep, hard decline of the St Louis Rams.

Friends and family are the meat and potatoes of a happy life. They shouldn’t have to be your dessert too.

2. Some of Your Fans will Become Your Friends

Maybe you thought I was going to say that not all of your fans are your friends, but that’s obvious.

I’ve been a fan of Stephen King since I was a teenager, but he’s never had me over for dinner. Instead, he just keeps writing books I enjoy reading, and that’s enough for me.

But, every now and then, you get to meet someone who enjoys your work or someone whose work you enjoy and discover you have a lot in common. Email addresses and phone numbers get traded, one of you makes the first move, and, lo and behold, you have a new friend. It’s a beautiful thing.

And it’s this, combined with the first thing, that makes everything seem so blurry.

You want to reach out to your friends and your fans, you want to interact with each group in a way most natural, and yet you understand that not everyone falls so neatly into one camp or the other.

That’s where fan pages come in, I think, because:

3. A Facebook Fan Page Creates a Penetrable Wall

Recognizing the shifting but significant line between friends and fans, I decided to create a fan page. It’s also why I started blogging.

I love my friends and family, but I’ve always had the creative bug, and I’ve always longed to meet and support others stricken with the same wondrously mad disease. Blogging allows you to reach people that way.

And a fan page on Facebook allows you extend that reach without having to inundate your Aunt Agnice or your hapless fellow Rams supporters with things of interest to your readers but of no interest to them.

But, just in case you misunderstand, a fan page isn’t the Facebook equivalent of the Berlin Wall. It doesn’t have to be a heavily guarded barrier between fans and friends.

It’s more like the wall of a living cell. It’s permeable. People can penetrate the wall, come and go as they please, and spend time on each side if they choose. But you can gently direct them where you think they’ll be happiest.

That’s why I’m going to continue to manage a fan page and why I’m going to promote it instead of my personal account.

On the friends’ side, I’m going to talk about my kids and ask about theirs. I’m going to tell bad jokes, recommend good movies, and argue about who’s going to win the next election or Super Bowl.

On the fans’ side, I’m going to share my work and the work of others who I think might be of interest to the people who share my special brand of madness.

And, to make the lines even less blurry, I’ve decided to drop the fan page bearing my name. It’s just too surreal seeing two of me pop up in the Facebook news feeds. In its place, I’ve created a page bearing the name of this odd, little brand I somehow stumbled into called Mildly Creative.

I hope you’ll become a fan of the brand. And who knows? If we haven’t already, maybe someday we’ll meet and become the very best of friends. Here’s the link to my page: Mildly Creative on Facebook

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelvin Kao January 29, 2010 at 5:11 am

I found that I am not in the habit of checking the fan pages. For a blogger that I interact with a lot, often I eventually add them as friends on Facebook. Since lots of people import their posts into their personal account, I end up seeing those in two places. I check my RSS reader multiple times a day, but only check Facebook at the end of the day, so I usually end up responding to the copy on the blog. But for people like these, I am usually a subscriber of the blog, a friend with their personal profile, and a fan of their page. Yep, all three. Although I know it works for some people, the fan page is something I rarely checks. But that’s just my habit. I am a fan of everything my friend does, in general, and I would rather interact with them as a person as opposed to a brand in most of the cases.

As for the friends that I actually know in real life, I interact with them on Facebook more. If they have blogs, I leave comments on their blogs too, especially those ones that’s not getting that many comments. I guess I really believe in egging them on if they have a motivation and drive for blogging. =)
.-= Kelvin Kao´s last blog ..The End of an Era =-.

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Sheila January 29, 2010 at 8:38 am

This post is very helpful and clarifies the fine lines between family, friends and fans in terms of social media. When I first started putting my creative stuff out there, I was surprised by the lack of interest from family and friends. Once in a while someone would ask, Have you been published? All I wanted to do was talk about the ideas and concepts behind the creativity. Now I am content and like keeping it separate. Thanks!
.-= Sheila´s last blog ..Fishegg # 73 Rorschach – Psychology =-.

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Ken January 30, 2010 at 8:19 am

I didn’t know it at first, Sheila, but now I do. I’m like you. I like having a double life.

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Jane Snell Copes January 29, 2010 at 11:31 am

Good plan!

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Steven | The Emotion Machine January 30, 2010 at 8:08 am

Interesting post. I just recently created a Facebook page for my blog, and one of my good friends became a fan of it.

There are also some bloggers I have become friends with on Facebook.

I admit, the line is a blurry one, and I definitely share your hesitation in publishing stuff from my blog on my regular Facebook page.
.-= Steven | The Emotion Machine´s last blog ..How To Combat Work Overload =-.

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Ken January 30, 2010 at 8:19 am

And you can always invite people from one world into your other one.

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Mo January 30, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Hey Ken,

Perfect! I will admit I get really perturbed when I add a new friend – as a friend by your definition above – and they spam me with all of their non-friend type of stuff. I’ve had to delete some people because of it unfortunately. The fan page is the place to do that! Whether or not they know it your friends and family will appreciate you for this!!!

Anyway you’ve been added – I’m a fan.

Cheers,
Mo

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Ken February 7, 2010 at 7:17 am

Thanks, Mo. I hope I earn the honor.

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Lesley February 3, 2010 at 11:55 am

Thanks for this post, it is something I’ve been mulling over. I have a problem getting past making something where someone can become a fan of me… I like my blog because if people are reading or following or have added me to their RSS feed it is a blind thing where I don’t have to see it (I guess I’m nervous about making a fan page and then nobody comes!).

I do like the idea of it being separate, especially since I try to keep my FB friends manageable – I’ve managed to keep my friend count down to people I really want to keep in touch with.
.-= Lesley´s last blog ..Just What Am I Painting, Anyway? =-.

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Ken February 7, 2010 at 7:16 am

Hi, Lesley.

Don’t think of it as a fan page. That’s just what Facebook calls it.

Think of it as a resource page for those who enjoy your work and share your interests. Then do two things: 1) Be a resource, and 2) point your readers to other good resources.

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kari m. February 6, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Hi Ken. I started to read your posts recently and I love them! Thank you. Such inspiration to find in them. When it comes to separating friends, family from fans etc., I think that connecting with people online is a lot like in offline reality; people too attached to us tend to see us for what we are in a relationship with them, whereas people not so close relate mostly to our work. :-)

I will keep following along at your blog.

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