What would you give to be successful? Some people say they would give anything. I am no longer one of them.
There was a time in my life when I gave a great deal. I thought I was a loser and I wanted to be a winner, so I worked ridiculously long hours, neglected my health, and let my marriage and other relationships disintegrate.
I liked awards and plaques and pats on the back. I lived for them. To me, they were signs I was something more than what I once thought I was.
But they were only external signs, and I chased after them while ignoring all the internal signs that something was terribly wrong.
Seeing Better Through Burnout
Thank goodness for burnout.
Without it, I’d still be chugging along towards another meaningless promotion, pay raise, or parcel of praise. Because of it, I discovered what really mattered most to me.
The funny thing is I thought I knew, but one of the best kept secrets about things that matter most is that we can live our lives completely unaware of them. We might think we have our eyes on the prize when we’re really just focusing on an empty promise or a mirage.
Round and Round We Go
When we do this, we’re like greyhounds on a racetrack, doing what we’ve been trained to do, chasing after dummy lures. It might be fun and exciting at times. We might even get a pat on the back.
But the things we’re chasing, like dummy lures, might be worthless should we catch them.
And while we’re chasing them, we could be running past the things that have real value, things that have the potential to truly nourish our bodies, minds, and spirits. Even stranger is the fact that many of the things that truly matter are often there for the taking.
The Low Cost of Really Living
All it took for me to draw was a pen and some paper and the will to begin.
I bought my guitar from a coworker for fifty dollars.
I’m writing this on a computer, but it only took a two-dollar notebook and a ballpoint pen to take up writing.
The only thing I had to invest in to begin my exercise habit was a decent pair of sneakers.
Time spent with my family and friends is free.
Oddly enough, though I once ignored them, these, the things that really matter most, are the things that make me feel like the winner I once longed to be.
And I wouldn’t give a single one of them for another plaque, promotion, or pat on the back. Would you?
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Such an insightful post — it really is that easy! The sooner we realize we’re chasing fake rabbits, the more time we have to dig the real stuff of life. Thank you for the reminder.
Kristin´s last blog ..Save a Stamp and Free Your Mind
Good write up and you’re so right.
I’ve spent the better part of the last ten or twelve years trying to find ‘my thing’ as in, what I’d do that I’d love and be able to make a living with too. Of course, the whole time I was distracting myself with learning things, I was writing and doodling which, as it turned out, are the things that really matter me to me. I don’t know why it’s so easy to get distracted…perhaps peer pressure or all those things people tell us that we ‘should’ be doing it, or even the dollar signs sparkling in our heads.
Thanks for reminding me.
Hi, Wulfie.
I think it’s kind of sad how we’ve been lead to believe that something isn’t worth doing unless it earns us a buck. It would certainly be nice to get paid for drawing or playing guitar or writing, but it would be a tragedy if I didn’t do any of it simply because I don’t. There are other forms of payment we often overlook.
I let life get in the way for over twenty some years before it hit me between the eyes. It was not what it seemed and it has left me questioning so many things. I kept putting what was important on the back burner for later…kept telling myself ‘soon, I’ll deal with that’…but life has a funny way of making you pay attention in a hurry! This is NOT the life lesson I wanted but at least now, it has my full attention! I can’t help but feel really sad at all the wasted time though! Thanks for another beautiful piece, Ken!
I very recently stumbled upon your blog and, I have to say, it’s already become a source of inspiration for me. I’m just at the very beginning of having made a life change [cutting down my work hours drastically, spending less, going back to school, becoming reacquainted with the simplicity of life which, ultimately, is what makes me happy] and your posts reinforce what I know to be true for me. It’s really comforting and motivating to know that I’m not alone on this journey. Thanks
I have been going back and forth on this a lot lately. I’ve always been an overachiever, but recently I realized that while ambition has its positive qualities, it’s nothing more than the ego struggling to do more, be more, get more.
That’s why I love this quote from Eric Weiner in his book The Geography of Bliss: “When ambition is your god, the office is your temple, and the employee handbook is your holy book. The sacred drink, coffee, is imbibed five times a day. When you worship ambition, there is no sabbath, no day of rest. Every day you rise early and kneel before the God Ambition, facing in the direction of your PC. You pray alone, always alone, even though others may be present.
“Ambition is a vengeful god. He will smite those who fail to worship faithfully, but that is nothing compared to what he has in store for the faithful. They suffer the worst fate of all. For it is only when they were old and tired, entombed in the corner office, that the realization hits like a biblical thunderclap. The God Ambition is a false god and always has been.”
Kelly Watson ´s last blog ..Free Guide to Copywriting From the Heart (No Signup Necessary)
I must read that book. That was incredible. Thanks for sharing.
‘Thank goodness for burnout.”–there’s a sentence you won’t often read.
I’m with you though, burnout can give you the gift of perspective and help kickstart a more purposeful approach to life.
I burned out in a career that I really enjoyed and felt great passion for. I’m grateful for the time I got to do that, but now my life is built around being with my family, and working in a way that is much more healthy and nourishing for me.
I love your outline of the low cost of really living.
Dave´s last blog ..6 Impossible Things: #2 Deep-Sea Cafe
Ken,
Thanks for another inspiring post – your writing is so down to earth and insightful! There was a time too when I loved getting approval from others. Now I’m not influenced by such stuff any more. My rewards are simple things like the smile of a student when they grasp a concept, or the sense of accomplishment they radiate when they do a great job on a project. Personal fulfilment comes from expressing my creativity and writing a good blog post or experimenting with tools in my studio. Thats the really important stuff in life!
Keep up the good work!
Reading your blog and others comment made me understand that its good to have Ambition, run after that to reach your goal thats also ok but one should not be feverish for that. I have lost two very special and impotant person in my life-my husband and my son!! because I was never satisfied what ever they had done, I wanted more and more always. Better late than never – today i realized my mistakes and confess myself so that no body will repeat the same. No one can be happy by satisfying one’s own desires. it may give one material gains but in the long run it will bring misery and sorrow. Self-enjoy through renunciation-for becoming self-sacrificing instead of self-servicing.
Thank you so much to all of YOU..
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