How Improv Wisdom Taught Me to Let Go, Say Yes, and Have a Fabulous Four-Day Weekend

I just returned home from one of the most ridiculous family getaways I’ve ever been on.

We Went on a Trip

With six of us (my son, his friend, my daughter, her boyfriend, Carol, and myself) crammed into one vehicle, we drove for almost an entire day to reach our destination, stayed for two days, and then made the same, long trek in reverse.

It was insane, and I loved it.

But I must confess I went begrudgingly. In fact, I protested the entire idea almost from its conception.

Carol Gave Me the Slip

“This is crazy!” I told Carol. But she, in her infinite wisdom, saw this as precisely the reason we should do it.

You see, my son Seth is a huge fan of NBA superstar, Lebron James. It was a little dream of his to see Lebron play, but not on any old court. He wanted to see him play on his home court in Cleveland, Ohio.

He wanted to experience, just once, what the hometown fans of James’s Cavaliers experience every time they compete in their own arena.

I thought the whole idea was nuts. “Memphis is just three hours away,” I argued, “We can get tickets for a game when the Cavs come to visit.”

Carol’s defense was to give me a polite smile as she purchased tickets and booked rooms at a hotel in downtown Cleveland.

“That’s a ten-and-a-half hour drive,” I pleaded, “Twelve hours if you count the stops, and we’re only going to stay for two days. It’s crazy.”

Carol countered by tucking money away for meals and other entertainment.

If it had been up to me, Seth’s little dream would have remained just that – a little dream. Lucky for him, he has a mother who gets a big kick out of making little dreams come true.

A Book Made Me Flip

And lucky for me (and perhaps everyone else), I purchased Patrician Ryan Madson’s Improv Wisdom and placed it on my Nook just moments before we pulled out of the driveway. It only took a reading of the first chapter to change my attitude.

In the book, Madson, a teacher of drama at Stanford University, shares the principles of improvisation and offers them as “guidance for a life of adventure and meaning.”

The first principle, the one I most needed to learn, is to simply say yes, which Madson challenges her readers to do for an entire day. It’s harder than it sounds.

If you want to discover just what a control freak you really are, try saying yes to everything. For me, it made me realize how often I resist what others are offering and suggesting, something Madson calls blocking.

I Loosened My Grip

Someone would suggest something to do or somewhere to go, and a dozen “better” ideas would enter my head. But instead of making a case for my ideas, I said yes, even if it meant doing so through gritted teeth.

I wasn’t perfect. I made a few weak objections here and there, but, over time, it got easier, and the easier it got, the more I enjoyed the experience.

It no longer mattered so much where we were going or what we were doing. It only mattered that I was going somewhere and doing something with five incredible people.

It was even okay when we decided to split up and go our separate ways, which is how I wound up at my first ever Roller Derby with my wife and daughter while the boys chose to do otherwise. Guess who ended up having a terrific time.

I’ll End With This Tip

So what’s my point in sharing this? It’s this.

Every day, we’re bombarded with advertisements for products and programs that promise to help us take more control of our lives, but maybe our problem isn’t a lack of control. Maybe we’re controlling too much.

Maybe we need to let go and say yes, yes to the people in our lives, yes to the time we have to be with them, and yes to the experiences and opportunities they’re offering us, even if it’s a crazy, twelve-hour car ride.

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