Today, I wrote some truly horrible things in my journal. Wretched. Filthy. Vicious. I couldn’t possibly share them with you.
But I will share this: it felt wonderful.
One way to reach your center, I’ve discovered, is to stop pretending you’re already there and acknowledge all the stuff that has you on edge.
If you’re angry, then be angry. If you’re afraid, shiver and quiver and cry.
Just make sure you let it all out and get it all down.
Scratch it on a scrap of paper. Sling it and slap it and splash it across the surface of a dirty canvas. Play it loud, and make damned sure your instrument’s out of tune.
When you’re done, let your fists unclench and your arms go limp, fall back into something comfortable, and let the air fill your lungs again.
This is the ride called being human. You’re up. You’re down. You’re at rest. You’re on edge.
Please secure your belongings and your longings. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Ah, lovely words. I really love the way you write, Ken. It’s chewy and tangible and solid – your imagery always feels very alive to me. I’m glad you got it all off your chest, always better out than in. And the feeling of The Relax, the breathing in – always feels better when you’ve allowed yourself a proper rage, doesn’t it?
Thank you!
Natalie
.-= Natalie Christie´s last blog ..The Success Is In The Snowballs =-.
Precisely. Sometimes, I think I have to be centered all the time and, oddly enough, this really throws me off center.
Oh, yes – the joys of catharsis.
Definitely one of the reasons I loved Julia Cameron’s ‘morning pages’ when I discovered her work, many years ago; not just for the practice of turning up to the page, but for the brain-dump which occurred every morning, letting out all the messy thoughts that kept me awake or rode my dreams, leaving my mind a clean page for the new day.
Until someone came and scribbled all over it again…
.-= Tracy Rudd´s last blog ..Going Naked =-.
Sounds similar to Barbara Sher’s “hard times.” She’s the only person I’ve heard who, when talking about resistance, suggests we open the door and give it a voice and turn up the volume. Everyone else focuses in staring it down or overpowering it or ignoring it. That just builds the tension, like water behind a dam. Gotta let it flow.
And while “flow” sounds beautiful as a place where everything is connected to the universe and our work comes naturally and intuitively, it also describes the release after things have been plugged up. A creativity enema.
Each of us is the center and the shitty edge plus the foggy muddled mess in between. Which is pretty important, because we can’t make mud pies without mud.
.-= Steve´s last blog ..Writing sdrawckaB =-.
“and let the air fill your lungs again.”
This phrase makes me smile
I think I also struggle a lot in my down moments and that’s simply for I gotta “get some air fill my lung again” to breathe merrily again
.-= Sandy´s last blog ..Stars, moon and clear sky used to mean something =-.
Exactly.
Ha! This is great – we can get into such a repressed mode as adults and it is stifling! Just being as we are, warts and all, we can break through blocks and get more breathing room.
Very good post.
.-= Anne Tyler Lord´s last blog ..The Writer’s Life: Tidbits & Knick Knacks =-.
I think the warts are really interesting, don’t you?
Well said. And much needed.
I think there’s a lot of mojo to be found in being ok with where we are, in not stuffing something or denying something or prettying up something in the hopes that it’ll just go away.
It usually doesn’t.
So being ok with what’s there, and letting it run its course, seems smart to me.
And sometimes it’s not only smart, it’s the only option we have.
And usually it’s the first step from where we’re at to where we want to be.
Good stuff, as always. Lots of thanks.
.-= Fabeku Fatunmise´s last blog ..A Game Of Go Fish =-.