Stop Dragging That Bag Around

by Ken on September 10, 2010

same-past-different-day

I bet you’ve made some mistakes in your life. If you remember them, the results were likely painful.

Every now and then you open up the bag you keep them in, the one you keep dragging around, and take a peek inside.

The stench hits you first. Bad memories tend to go rotten if you don’t do something with them.

Then you take a seat on the curb, hold the bag between your knees, and stare at the contents.

“Just look at what I’ve done,” you say, “what a mess I’ve made of things.”

You sigh, shake your head, and close the bag once more, preparing to drag it behind you for another hundred days.

But what if you emptied it out, spilled the contents on the ground, and sifted through the pile? Instead of judgements, you might find lessons, solutions, and even some redemption.

Damning yourself for your past serves no good purpose. As of right now, you’re not the same person who made the mistakes. That person didn’t have the knowledge you have. He or she didn’t have the opportunity you have to learn from their mistakes.

You can make things better, but only if you do something other than lug your goofs around. Put them to use instead, and you’ll never be left holding the bag again.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Charlie September 10, 2010 at 6:23 am

I am so glad I found your blog. These are similar thoughts to how I’ve been feeling lately. I keep wishing that I could change the past; make better decisions so that the present would have a better outcome. Unfortunately, we don’t in live a sci-fi universe, so the only thing I can do is learn from those mistakes and poor decisions, and try to make better ones in the future. I’m sure I’ve got plenty more bad decisions up my sleeve that I will end up making in the future, I just hope that I don’t keep them on repeat.

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Ken September 13, 2010 at 10:43 am

Peaches have pits. Our lives have blips. Doesn’t mean they’re not tasty.

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Steve September 10, 2010 at 12:31 pm

There is a lot of discussion in the world of professional coaching about differences between coaching and therapy. The standard take is that coaching is about the present moment and creating a better future, while therapy is about excavating the past.

Overly simplified and inaccurate. Therapy done well is about acknowledging the past, admitting and owning it even if not publicly, and then *transcending* it. The path you write about is a path of transcending. Very wise.

Even many coaches now help people excavate the past to claim it and transcend it. Seems we can’t deal with the present moment and create a better future when we’re dragging that stinky bag around.

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Ken September 13, 2010 at 10:39 am

I believe the answer to many a heated debate lies somewhere between either and or.

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jenifer September 13, 2010 at 2:45 am

I love the honesty in your posts!!! You are in a very select circle of people I actually subscribe to because you are honest….you definately touch on the “not so nice/pretty” side of everyone’s life & thoughts, but without dwelling, and always with an overall positive note.

I cannot say thank you enough to hear how someone else deals with the less than perfect past that we all drag around with us……I try to open up my bag once a day & take something out that I’m tired of carrying around with me…….

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Ken September 13, 2010 at 10:37 am

That’s a great way to get rid of junk, Jenife. One little piece at a time.

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